Happy holidays everyone! Wow, I haven’t written in over a month. I haven’t had much to write about in terms of foster care, because I haven’t had any children in my home since the baby left last month. I did help another foster mom out and hosted her little one for the weekend. I’ve had her with me before… so it was great reconnecting with her, but that’s about all in terms of care.
I have gotten about four calls for placements. Each call came at an inopportune time for me. I received one message to place a 15 year old, but by the time I called back no one answered so I assumed they found a place for her. They called the next day for the same child and were asking if foster parents could host the teenager for a few weeks at a time in their home until they could find a treatment facility for her to be placed permanently. My ears rang, because I was still not ready to host a placement (this was one week after the baby left) and I didn’t like the idea of handling a teenager that needed treatment as a single person. I declined. I received a call for a 16 year old, but I was at a funeral and by the time I got home it was almost after 7 pm. I didn’t even call the department back, I do feel bad about that. Yesterday I received another call and when I answered the call chuckling the worker asked me why I was laughing. I told her that I already knew what she was going to ask, but I had plans for the night that I couldn’t change. I also told her that I know when they call near or after 5 pm that they’re calling for a teenage placement. She chuckled and said, “Well, I will not disappoint you!” and we both laughed. At this point in the remaining year, I am not particularly interested in having a child in my home. It may sound selfish, but I don’t want to be bound by a school age child and the school calendar :-). So, no placements for me at the moment… but I am enjoying my free time! I got to catch a football game between my alma mater and Navy. I was so excited to attend… even though it was cold and rainy!
During this time, I have been struggling with the departure of my previous placement. I find myself thinking of her often and sometimes just looking at pictures on my phone. Folks stop me and ask about her all the time, she was such a light… a very good baby that I miss terribly. It’s getting better for me, but it’s still a struggle. People often state that is why they couldn’t do foster care, and I understand that. It is really hard. The department will tell you not to get attached to the child, but then out of the same breath tell you to treat the child like your own. I pour my heart into each child that I care, so no matter what I am always sad when they leave. People also always ask me about the teenager. To my knowledge she is doing well in school. I tried to reach out to her a couple times, but she wasn’t interested. I didn’t really get too attached to her because she didn’t really let me in, so that was a little easier to transition for me. I always knew that she viewed me as just a place to lay her head…. bide her time for a few months… so I really didn’t expect much in the form of communication. I wish her well. I have had five placements in the year and a half I have been a foster parent. That does not include the respite placements that I have hosted as well. I am not sure if I enjoy the constant turn over because I am able to get back to “my life,” or if it is causing a wear and tear on my heart. I haven’t figured that out yet… I keep that in prayer.
I did put up my Christmas tree this year. I wasn’t planning on it, but two of my friends told me I should still celebrate and make my home festive. I felt like it didn’t matter since I didn’t have children in the home, but I decided to go ahead and put it up. I did have the promise that a friend would come over and help… complete with hot cocoa, cookies, and Christmas movies! Although that didn’t happen, it was just the incentive I needed to get off my seat and decorate! I even wrapped all the presents too!
So, that’s what’s been happening in my neck of the woods. As always, thank you for your support of me through this journey of foster care. So many of you have expressed how much you love reading the blog and how proud you are of me when you see me! I am grateful for each and everyone of you… you really encourage me and keep pushing me forward and you don’t even know it! Thank you again and I hope you have a very merry Christmas and a happy New Year!