I’m kind of nervous to write a blog today. Lately it seems like every time I write a blog, something major happens. After the last blog I wrote, Busy Bee’s daycare had to close for two weeks due to a teacher at the center testing positive for COVID. BUT, the biggest news was getting a call to foster Busy Bee’s baby brother. I was here at the house, minding my business… lol… a friend of mine was here with her children for the morning to play with busy bee and take her out on a walk so I could get some work done. I got a call around noon, “we are trying to remove____ today, are you still interested and available to take him?” Immediate “Yes,” but on the inside I was really nervous. I was just coming out of the baby phase with busy bee. I was just having happy feelings about not washing bottles anymore or not having to wake up multiple times at night. LOL! BUT, how could I say no, this is my busy bee’s brother and I couldn’t think of him going somewhere else. I thought of the two siblings actually getting a chance to meet and form a bond. I also thought of their mom and how it might possibly provide a small relief that he was here with me and she has gotten to know me a bit over the last couple month. It has been a HUGE adjustment for us all to say the least, but we are getting through bit by bit.
People often think that when you receive a child in care this young, that they don’t have any trauma. Truth be told, I could tell that baby brother missed his mom the first few days he was here. I could tell he was confused as to where he was and who he was around. Poor little guy! He would barely eat an ounce or two at a time and slept sparingly. He is adjusting better now and even gives some smiles (he’s pretty serious :-)). Busy bee is adjusting as well, she kisses “baby” as she says and just yesterday tried to help me put his pacifier in his mouth. BUT she also, tries to sit on him if I’m holding him and she wants to be in my lap, if he cries and gets attention she starts to cry or scream, and she also has become super clingy to me not letting me move more than a few feet away from her at a time.
So the day after children come into care, there is always an emergency shelter hearing to determine if the child needs to stay in care and then a follow up in less than 30 days to see if the child should remain in care. This was the first time I was asked to attend an emergency shelter hearing… and let me tell you, it is very draining. I think all hearings are draining, but shelter hearings are especially draining because you are witnessing the “why” a child was removed.
This has been quite a time of transition, going from one child to two children with little notice. I am grateful for ALL the help that I have received. My friend Rasheda organized a meal train for me so I’ve had food delivered by friends for the past several days. This is great because I’ve not really had time to cook… or eat! LOL! I’ve also received gift cards to get food or supplies which has been most helpful (Thank you Renita and ZaKiya)! My mother organized nightly help for me for two weeks where friends have come to help me hold and play with the kids while I attend to evening chores (Thank you Deidre, Robin, Mom, and Brenda!). I am so overwhelmed! I have gotten baby supplies in the mail (thank you Priscilla, Cindy, Tracy, and Sonja!) and also gotten pampering for myself (thank you Jenn!) and one friend drove from a distance to bring onsies, diapers, wipes, pacifiers (just a lot of supplies, thanks Ebony!!). One of my friends flew all the way from Texas to help me take care of baby brother! This is the same friend that came last year and inadvertently helped me take care of busy bee when she was only 8 days old! Thanks Tanya!
Some days I look at little brother and say, “why did I say yes??!!” with a smile. Although it is very hard having a 14 month old and an almost 3 month old, I am grateful that I have been given this opportunity to be their caregiver for such a time as this. Court is next week, I’m always anxious before court… just the unknown, but it’s happening so I have to get ready!
That’s all for now!
A Journey Through Foster Parenting 