Hi Everyone! It’s been a few weeks since I have updating my blog. Not much has been going on here since baby girl left about three weeks ago. It’s been a very (not so much) calm house. As most of you probably know, living with a teenager is very up and down. Some days (not often) they are happy, other days (more often) you have no clue what you did to deserve the attitude they are serving. Well, that has been my life for the past three weeks. I’ll get into that later.
You may have noticed that there aren’t any pictures on this blog entry. This is because I follow another foster mama on IG, and although we live in separate states her foster license was stripped because of social media posts. She also covered the babies/children’s faces and gave vague descriptions, but that was enough to scare me into no longer sharing photos. All rules are different, so although I was covering the children’s faces I will no longer even share those. (maybe a leg here… an arm there… LOL!)
Okay, so back to my current placement. For the past few weeks, it seemed like the teenager didn’t want to speak to me. For the most part, I really didn’t care… I am the type of person that figures that if you want to be moody… be my guest, but just don’t disrespect or bring your mood to me. Everything came to a head last week because I was so tired of her disrespecting me in the home. She would avoid me like the plague and when she did have to speak to me, she would yell from a different room. Also, if I asked her to do something, she would get so defensive that I just stopped asking her to do things just to avoid the drama. So, when the straw broke the camels back I confronted her about it. I say confronted because I was so filled with anger over the constant disrespect that I came at her all kinds of wrong. The conversation did not go well and at the end of it, I was really ready to kick her out…. three weeks left or not! I DID NOT CARE! After the anger subsided for me, I did have a conversation with her. I first started by apologizing for the way I came at her, I should not have come at her angry, but I told her that everything I said was true. I told her she had three choices for the remainder of her stay with me. If she could not respect me in my home, she could 1) find a place to stay, 2) or we could call her social worker and find some place for her to go, or 3) she can respect me and could continue living in my home for the remainder of the summer. I told her that I would like for her to stay and didn’t want to live in contention with her. My home is peaceful, and I do not like to live on edge all the time. I asked her what makes her think that I do not want her in my home (during the argument she said that I was happy to have her when she first arrived, but now she doesn’t know why I not happy with her there anymore). I told her that I do want her to remain in my home, but I do not like the disrespect she is showing. She told me that she doesn’t understand what people mean by saying she is disrespectful as her previous foster home said the same thing. She said, “I am not cursing at anyone or yelling and screaming or arguing, so I don’t understand what the problem is.” I explained to her that the disrespect she is showing is not blatant disrespect, but the undercurrent of disrespect. When an adult is speaking to you and you say, “What else do you have to say?”, “I don’t have time to go back and forth with you” or “I’m an adult too so…” those are very disrespectful things to say to someone who is allowing you to stay in their home. She seemed to take all that in with grace. I told her that I am cheering for her and I want her to succeed! She apologized for being disrespectful and how she made me feel in the home. At the end of the conversation, I hugged her. We have never done that before, but I just felt like I should.
This week has been better! She went to her college orientation and came back pretty excited. We have exactly two weeks left to live together. Surprisingly, she told her social worker that she would like to come and stay with me during her breaks from school. I say surprisingly because she originally told me and my mom that she wanted to stay at school during all the breaks (secretly my mom and I laughed with each other because we knew that probably wasn’t realistic), so I was taken aback by this new revelation. She also invited me to come with her when she moves on campus, although it was to have more hands to help her lift her things. LOL! The jury is still out on my decision though *shrugs*.
So please send silent prayers, good vibes, and happy thoughts to us during these final two weeks. I would like them to be as peaceful as possible.
Thanks for reading!
Clarise
A Journey Through Foster Parenting 